How on Earth can I be anymore obvious?

I start this as a plea. I plea for you to PLEASE stop calling BTR.

As our friend Lily Allen says, "How on Earth can I be anymore obvious. It never really happened, now it's never gonna happen with the two of us. I don't understand what it is that your chasing after, but it makes me sad to hear you sound so desperate. I just makes it harder."

Maybe you should just listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_5QWameMBA

Anyways, so BTR gives her digits to the bar back. I get it I guess, it's your most frequented bar these days and you're really not a bitch, so I can understand the need to not make the situation awkward. Little did you know, we were going to have a lil stalker on our hands!

Mr. Bar Back called, and called again. And again. And again. AND AGAIN.

Please read one of the most awkward and desperate (and omg why don't you know what it means when people screen your calls) voicemails I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

"Hey BTR* this is Bar Back*, ummm I wanted to give you a call to apologize for last night. Wewe got a little busy but I could of broken away and chit-chatted with you guys a little bit, but the truth be told I got kinda nervous, You looked really pretty last night and I got little butterflies in my stomach and ummm by the time I got up the courage ya'll were walking out the door. ummm but anyway I apologize and im not normally this much of a putz and dont want you to think anything. ummm so I will see you tonight and ummm I will talk to you tonight but umm (insert creeepy ass laugh) but just wanted to call and apologize and umm im sorry i was a lame ass and have a good day. Have a good day hope to see you tonight if not I look forward to seeing you next time. Talk to you later."

And yes, it was 7 min long.

So here's my question, why does he keep calling? He left this message on Saturday, and since then has called 2 more times. Get the hint dude. She doesn't asnwer because she's "just not that into you." Someone please send him the book.

At this point, we're all volunteering to tell him ourselves. What would you say? I think I'd say exactly this, "Dear Bar Back Boy, I believe that you've somehow mistaken my friend's intentions. Now, you may think she ignores EVERYONE's call because she's so incredibly busy, and that it's not just you. But honey, that's not the case. She has the swine flu."

You are an A-S-S my friend.

DISCLAIMER: FOR GIRLS ONLY because bitching makes us feel better.

I'm just thinking about how mean/dumb/selfish BOYS are. I say boys because only 25% of you deserve to be called Men, and 25% is being generous.

For you, Corey, in honor of a best friend (because you're too classy to cuss him out in person like he deserves):

I don't understand how feelings can change within a matter of days. How in God's name, can you text "i love you" to a girl you've been dating for over 4 months and then 5 days later, completely brush her off as if she doesn't exist.

Oh that's right, you're an ass.

To be realistic, I can understand how feelings can change. Honestly, I do, it's life and it happens. However what I don't understand is you taking the peckerhead (thanks for that word Gramps), cowardly way out.

Oh that's right, you're selfish.

What was your reason in asking her to Birmingham to a wedding anyways? She drove to see you, not having seen you in a month. But don't worry, her feelings weren't hurt when you blatantly avoided her. Well, until of course you saw her taking shots with another boy. Then you come over for a, "Hey babe, what's up?"

Oh that's right, you're selfish, mean AND an ass.

I even could careless how mean you are to her friends, as long as you're nice to her. But I guess you can't even pull that off?

I wanted to tell you when you were sleeping on my floor that you're not even good enough to sleep on filth, not to mention my carpet...but hey, I'm a nice girl.

When you tried to tell her she could no longer come to that wedding because she didn't have a seat, I guess I was right to ask, "do you believe him?" I especially saw through your measly attempts to soften the blow through texts messages that read, "I'm so sorry. I'm so mad. Please don't hate me. I feel like you're going to hate me."

Why would you even bother to tell her you're going to meet her out afterward? You knew all along you'd never call again.

OHHHHHHHHHHH that's right, you're mean, you're selfish, you're dumb, you're just plain shitty.

Note: For the guys who actually read through this, this are the types guys who make you all look bad...and in turn, makes girls just a lil bit crazy.

HOTLANTA....Next Stop, the Big Easy

The trip to ATL was tons of fun despite the "L" to Florida. Tim Tebow is a freak of nature and that's all there is to it.

I was thinking about the best/funniest thing that happened while we were there. When you don't go to bed before 5am either night, you've got lots to tell! There was the insane car ride to Midtown where I heard the term "Sexting" (Sex Texting for those of you who are virgins as well, but I'm sure you figured that out) for the first time. Vespa explained the meaning while she was crammed in with two boys OVER 6ft tall in the backseat of a 3 series BMW. There's the incredibly fuzzy walking around in the parking deck, talking to "ryan or bryan" (don't remember which) in the back seat, and texting Phantom (yes he's still around). Hummm, that was all Friday night. Saturday was also good times. Yellowhammers at the Innisfree tailgate, game at STATS (where people SHATTERED a glass partition right after the game), and then Churchills.

Which leads me to my favorite story of the night.

I'm not really sure how Vespa does it, but she does. She always, mark my words, finds the most eligible bachelor in the room without meaning to. This time? A REALLY cute, funny orthepedic surgeon. I'm serious when I say this, the job isn't all that matters. It's more about being stable, and being able to support yourself. I wouldn't care if the guy was a lifeguard, as long as he could support himself, and was happy doing it. It's the rest of the story that makes him so eligible.

We lost her for a HUGE amount of time. No surprise she was missing, but was hoping she hadn't left the building. She comes beebopping to our corner with this cute guy strolling behind her. Of course, we're like, "um hello, who are you?" He excitedly introduces himself and begins a converation. While the roommate has his undivided attention, Vespa decides to tell me a little story. Goes something like this,

She goes up to the bar to order a drink. She's standing beside the Dr, who introduces himself and his friend. Apparently the Dr. and the friend had a convo before because the friend bolted after the introduction . Anyways, to make a long story short, he ordered some shots. AWFUL shots. By half way through the second, Vespa (hold your tummy friends) threw those shots right back up, in her mouth, at the bar. She RUNS outside. While she finishes up, she realizes Dr. is holding her hair back. YEP...HOLDING HER HAIR BACK. She obviously visits the bathroom, and walks back out fully expecting him to be gone. NOPE, still there. She apologizes. He says, "Hey, no big deal, I've dealt with all this before, blood, throw-up, piss, you name it." (This is when he tells her he's a Dr.) Anyway, the night continues on, he gets her number and we go home. At the time we all thought it disgustingly hilarious, but now it's a cute story. They went out last night, but I haven't gotten the low down on that yet. Hopefully it went well.

So there you have it, a snapshot of the weekend in ATL. Can't wait until New Years, plus a football game in Nola. Sure to be great times ahead.

Patrick Bateman…is alive and well, in Birmingham.

For those of you who haven’t seen (or read) American Psycho, a little synopsis is provided. Those of you who have, you may skip past and start at the quote I’ve provided.

Synopsis: Set in Manhattan and beginning on April Fools' Day 1987, American Psycho spans roughly two years in the life of wealthy young investment banker Patrick Bateman. Bateman, 26 years old when the story begins, narrates his everyday activities, from his daily life among the upper-class elite of New York to his forays into murder by nightfall.

Patrick Bateman: “I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.”

BACKGROUND: My friend, we’ll call her Vespa, met a strapping (or what she thought) young man at the local Thursday night hangout. I would love to call this Yuppie by his REAL name because anyone that acts like this deserves to be called out. However, because the fear for my life, I’ll call him Patrick Bateman or Yuppie. Mr. Bateman claimed to be a lawyer, but in thinking about it, I wonder how that can be. He graduated from Auburn in 2005, which would presently put him JUST getting out of law school and without time to take the bar. Anyways please keep in mind this story comes from Vespa, and I might be leaving out a few things and the conversation isn’t verbatim. However, the text messages I am reporting are cold hard truth and evidence of a true Patrick Bateman in the making.

So Vespa starts her night at Open Door Café (ODC for the locals), and meets the Yuppie. Apparently there was good enough, normal conversation (and many drinks) to where she felt comfortable enough to give out the digits and take a much needed ride to her car. During the course of the 15 min drive, he asks a couple of important questions.

1) Are you seeing anyone?
2) Would you like a sip of what I have in this brown bag?
3) Would you like to feel my abs?

Responses/conversation (Vespa’s thoughts in parentheses):
1) V: Well sort of, I’ve been on a few dates with a guy that I’m interested in.
Y: What does he do?
V: He’s a neurosurgeon. (yes that’s right…a brain surgeon)
In which afterwards, he proceeds to call her a “gold-digger” for dating a doctor.

2) (Did you really just pull a brown bag of whiskey out from under your driver’s seat?)
V: Um, No thanks

3) V: (OMG why is he pulling his shirt up) No Thanks
Y: I mean I have the best abs you’ve ever seen, don’t I? (what the hell…)

Once Vespa is dropped off and begins the next day, she receives the following texts from the Yuppie. Keep in mind there have been NO talks of a date.

1. So, you need to be ready by 7:30 tomorrow evening b/c we’re eating at Surin at 8:00. I’ll pick you up around 7:40 J
2. Great! Ill take the no response as a “YES” since you didn’t dispute it, See ya tomorrow.
3. Hey obviously you are giving me the cold shoulder and so I will respect that and not call you anymore. However, I really enjoyed hanging out with you and your friends last night and I’m sorry it had to end this way. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to meet you and your friends and I wish all of u the best. I just hope the “dr” treats you right. If you ever need some to talk to you know my number.

Please let me interject on this NONSENSE of a text message. My thoughts and responses would have been: First of all, thanks Buddy, now you have wasted THREE messages in my package with that epilogue. Second, you act like I was your long lost sister who’s disappeared again. Third, you’re F-IN WEIRD. Ohhh and no you don’t stop there…

4. WOW! I don’t even know what to say. I thought I would at least get a response, but obviously you are too busy picking the pockets of your “dr”…..Have fun and be careful tonight. I promise I will NEVER try to contact you again.

Another interjection, ARE YOU KIDDING?? Vespa would only be so lucky for him to not contact her again. Lesson’s learned for him, not to go “fishing” for responses with sympathetic nothingness. Plus, you’ve now wasted a total of 8 text messages.

The seemingly stalker disappears. Only to rear his ugly head last night with this lovely, meaningful text (keep in mind she didn’t even talk to him): “H! Ur funny! Ur luky I even spoke to u. The blonde hair girl u were with is the hottestgirl in opendoor. U should felll lucky to even hold her Louis bag.”

Ok—there isn’t much more to say about this lovely specimen of a man, except beware.

Plus, I think because I fear for all women’s safety…his name is Matt.

Bad experiences make for good stories...

Let me start off by saying there's a guy that I'm interested in and like; however, its not that simple. Not much to say about it...it just isn't a simple situation. Then again, when is it ever.
It's become my belief that you date other people when given the opportunity until someone says, "we're dating exclusively and I'd like it if we didn't see other people." Whether that be said by you or the other person. Not to say that I and this guy are anywhere close to that, but we've been talking everyday (text or voice) since the end of February. I'm fine with this. I just needed to throw that out there to preface the situation.

So this said boy, (we'll call him...Phantom...because you never know when he's coming or going), says he'll be able to come into Birmingam Friday night. Something ends up happening, and he ends up having to travel to another Southeast town, and can't arrive here until Saturday. I'm actually not disappointed because I desperately want to go out with my roommate. We haven't had fun roommate time...for months. So, it's on. We set out for the beloved Innisfree by 10:30. We arrive in usual fashion, i.e. the doorman just asks for money. Because we frequent the bar, he has no need to check the IDs. We are always immediately served upon arrival as well.

We'll skip the rest of the boring usuals...straight to the what will eventually be "the bad experience."

I meet eyes with very cute male...eventually he makes his way over. He's standing relatively close to me, so, when I see him yawn I know I have my "in." So, the conversation that lead to a date begins with, "No Sir, No Yawning at the bar!!" I come to know he's a lawyer. His likes are travel, music, movies, and me. So, he stated. Slick, which will now be his name, pulls the, "Are you ready to leave? Because you can come with me...I promise I'll sleep on the couch if you worried about me trying anything." YEA RIGHT! I've heard that before...and I said that very sentence to him. I'm not an idiot...yet. He gets my number...fast forward to Saturday afternoon.

I know about the time that Phantom will be getting in from out of town. He's actually going to meet me at Jackson's for Race Leopard's party. So, I have my "getting ready time" all mapped out. WELL, Slick flippin calls me Saturday night right before I get in the shower, and asks me out for Sunday. In my mind....I'm like...I can go, Phantom and I are not dating, or dating seriously anyways. I say, "yes, call me tomorrow afternoon."

The night was SO FUN. I mean, I put it in my Favorite Nights category. I danced all night, danced with Phantom...GREAT NIGHT. The next day we go to lunch with friends. After lunch, we get taken to my car, which is still downtown. He wants to go hunt. I take him to his truck--he kisses me once on my forehead, and says,"I had a lot of fun last night. I'll call you in a little bit."

So I'm like...maybe I don't want to go on this date.


Whatever, I'm going anyways. What could it hurt? Now for this rest of the entry...I'm going to leave it to the gchat convo I had with Mel...It should explain sufficiently. I apologize for the abundance of ellipses (...).


me: so the boy calls...and suggests that we just hangout at his house (because we're both tired)--He'll go pick up take out, and we can watch a movie.
melis0624: that is a very intimate first date
me: I know---and that's what he said, "I know that's something you do on like a 10th date...but you sound really tired." I agreed because I was tired...and I wanted to see what this cute lawyer was really like, not thru the drunk goggles. so he gives me his address, and I go over (Phantom calls right before I leave the apt...it should have been a sign)
He lives off off highlang ave. (I immdiately think...nice place)
melis0624: scandalous
me: and it was a nice place. I knock on the door, he says come in, and the first thing I see is a black cat (red flag #1) now you know I like cats....but for a single male to have one...that's just weird.
anyways....you know i can be adventurous...this was an adventure...so then I see him...and I'm like, YAY! he's just as cute as I remember (so red flag #1 is erased)
me: then I sit down on the couch, and he's like...are you hungry? then brings out food.
Sushi...edamame...and strawberries (what?...yes strawberries) I love strawberries, but also...a red flag.
melis0624: hahahaha
me: I'm like...that's weird, but brush it off and by the way, I'm not even close to the good part
melis0624: no way
me: so he gets up and is like....lets start the movie..."I got Sweeny Todd"
melis0624: what is sweneny todd
me: now....had you not known what Sweeny Todd is...you have been very surprised that he picked it. BECAUSE ITS A MUSCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
melis0624: oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!
me: sooo I'm like...crap...is he gay?
(he will show us later that he's not) anyways...we watch the movie, and then when its over...he suggests we watch Entourage.
melis0624: you have to watch an entire musical
me: I'm like--heck yea--I love Entourage...and it proves that he likes guy things too
YES---I WATCHED AN ENTIRE MUSICAL
melis0624: ew
me: sooo during Entourage...he slips the ole, arm around your neck...pull you in close move.
I'm again...a little weirded out. (THIS IS WHEN I SHOULD HAVE LEFT!)
but I really wanted to watch the rest of the episode of Entourage....so I'm just like whatever.
When the episode is over--I'm like, ok well...then he asks me a question (now I don't remember what it even was) but as i was attempting to answer...he grabs my face and attempts to stick his tongue down my throat....
melis0624: oh gosh!
me: I like jump up...and all but scream...I GOTTA GO then he's like--oh ok...like no big deal at all, and Says, "hey, I'm glad you came over. It was good to see you."


I mean....WTF
melis0624: that is so weird so basically he is a freak
me: basically.
melis0624: dang it makes a great story though
me: I know....I swear these things only happ

...before its too late...

Don't they say hindsight is 20/20? Well thank goodness that I haven't forgotton what I learned in hindsight.

My last post about Jim, was in the lonely, maybe he has changed, phase.

In the words of my friend's mother, "Are you kidding, only one in a million actually change...and honestly who wants to be with someone they feel like they need to change?"

Thanks Mrs. D! Of course you're right, and you lead me to my epiphany on past relationships.

I've always told friends who have had problems with relationships, "There's one common denominator in every relationship you've been in. YOU!" (thanks Wilso) Believing in this myself, I've already idenified where they always went wrong. However, I couldn't figure out WHY. They all start out the same. Them being completely into me; the return being somewhat hesitant because I have hang ups. They are all incredible at first, and in time--I start to really like them. Somewhere half-way through the duration, the newness wears off and everything that I ignored has come to light. So, I start to bitch about how things "used to be" which in turn, pushes them away. Hence, ending the relationship because I'm so unhappy.

I was on my way home from work one afternoon last week and it all hit me in the forehead. I start dating them in the beginning thinking that I'm enough to change for. In all honesty, I'm not, nor do I want to be. In the words of Mrs. D, "...who wants to be with someone they feel they need to change." There you have it Ladies and Gentleman, don't start dating someone because you think they'll change, or things can be different, or blah blah blah. Pay attention to the red flags. This is supposed to be a no brainer right?

No, because people get lonely and settle.

So here's a toast to you MR. Jim...I will not be returning your random texts. I will not pay any attention to your random rants about not drinking as much, and that odd relationship you have with your sister. You were my friend, but can never have that part of me again. Because you might as well join the ranks of the Skank-A-Lank that you didn't return my calls for.

there will be a time for questions at the end of today's program.

Before I begin to write, I feel as though I should preface that I've had about 4 total hours of sleep today. So forgive me if it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

ok. WHY do ex-boyfriends always come back telling you about all the things that they've changed about themselves? PS. These issues are the reasons why you felt it as best to break up in the beginning.

A. I probably shouldn't have talked to him to give him the opportunity to tell me about all the things that are different.
B. I shouldn't have talked to him while I was drunk.

Set up: I drank too much, and took his favorite shot. Decided it was a great idea to text him about it. We ended up texting for a while, and called him when I got home (4:30) because I didn't "feel like texting anymore."

Highlights of the Convo (from what I remember): We spoke about the hard times that my family is going through. Which actually helped a lot. We spoke about skank-a-lank. I told him that I knew about her all along, and asked if it was worth it? He immediately said no, of course. I wonder if he thought I was talking about their relationship, or about it ultimately being the end of ours. He mentioned that his sister has agreed to stay out of his relationships (why after we break up). Apparently, he FINALLY realized what a strain on his relationships she's been. Good for him, right? He also told me that he's not drinking as much (the MAJOR issue that I had). How long will that last?

I told him I missed him. WHAT? I know, bad idea. He said he missed me, too.

Basically, I'm taking full responsibility for the feelings that I'm having right now. WHY am I missing him now? It's been almost 6 months. Of course I've missed him before, but not like I do now. Before it was the "I miss you because I spent so much time with you and now your gone." Now it's the, "I miss your touch, our conversations, and your I love you's."

HOW do I make it go away? I feel as though its wrong to miss him and let even the slightest thought of getting back together pass through my mind.

He called today (day after the initial phone call). We didn't talk about too much and he said he call later. WHY do I want him to call?

"...I started thinking.."

Because I've been watching the entire run of Sex in the City episodes all over again...

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

“When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past."

I think these quotes are good references for the place I am in my "love life" right now. Do we ever really give up the ghost? I think yes and no, it depends on if we choose to let it go, and if we don't, how do we use the ghost?

*Daddy Dearest...no need to go into detail. Short and sweet, we always had so much fun together and I miss having that "connection" with someone. I think that I've stayed mad at him for so long because it didn't work and he implanted himself into my life and my friends. I've let it go though because thats the only way to have it again.
Moral of the ghost: Enjoy the memories that you've made, don't be mad. They are yours to keep, and no one can take them away.

*Jim...one reason--He basically started dating someone before we officially broke up. I've been royally pissed. I had to get over it though. I knew we weren't right together, and she actually seems to be what he's always wanted. I SETTLED once again, and besides that, I was way out of his league.
Moral of the ghost: I'm the only one that can make myself mad or upset about things I can't control. oh and STOP SETTLING for people who "could be."

again...weird

SG and his weirdness was full force this weekend. Friday's=normalness and "I like Lindsey" time. Saturday's=akwardness and "Lindsey isn't by my side, so I hate her" time.

I'm wasting my time.

always a groomsmen...but never the groom. and there's a reason for that.

It’s a good thing that I didn’t write about Super Groomsman the other day! It’s much better now with more details.

Where do I begin? Let’s go back to two weekends after Jim* and I broke up. I’m wasted. I’m newly single, and I feel that it is imperative I take this guy back to my apartment after a fun-filled night of Innisfree and Bell Bottoms. It was a fun night=no sleep. He gets my number that morning, and I’m positive that he likes me. Therefore, he’ll definitely call. Because don't they say if you don't "sleep with them, they call. It's when you do, that they don't." WRONG. No call. Nothing.

Now travel in time to a month later. I see him, for the first time since, in Innisfree. He’s there after a rehearsal dinner, of course. He sees me. We make the awkward, “I/You never called, I/You might hate me now.” However, I look amazing, and I know it. There’s no way he was going to go all night without saying at least hello. He finally got the courage after a time. A short version of conversation that night went a little like this:

SG: I didn’t call because I didn’t realize that we had mutual friends. Don’t want to do that

(SB + Jim=Fraternity Brothers)

ME: I understand, but that sucks.
SG: Good. I’m glad I ran into you tonight. I’ve been hoping to see you
ME: (Right…seeing as how if you’d have used that number in your phone…it would have happened a lot sooner) Oh.

ME: KC wants to leave. I don’t and I don’t have a car. I also don’t want to ride in a taxi by myself.
SG: I don’t have a car either. We’ll share a taxi.
ME: OK (BIG mistake!)

We get to his OMG messy, undecorated, complete bachelor townhouse, and I stumble upstairs. Drunken conversations of remembering, and “I really liked you” occur.

Let’s also keep in mind that I’m stuck there the next day until he retrieves his car, and then I get gracefully dropped of at my apartment. He, for the forth time that morning, asks what I’m going to do that day…which I still find odd. Considering that my answer never changed, and I knew he had wedding stuff to do.

The next time I saw him was at the bar after the wedding. The first thing he does when he walks in is ask if I need a drink. Now, at first I’m thinking, maybe this WILL be different. In hind sight, he probably just wanted to make sure I was getting inhibited. However, We talked off and on throughout the night when our friend Katie wasn’t talking his ear off about “his face.” I didn’t find this amusing, and I noticed that she seemed interested in him. Throughout the night, they got closer, and closer. I mean they were dancing with faces, no shit, no further than a couple of centimeters away. So, feeling like a dumbass, I left at a point when I could NO longer be around it.

Should I be mad at myself or at him? Myself.

really..honestly...

Boys are stupid. It's best not to write about it quite yet. We'll call him, Super Groomsmen.

I'm so glad that my college roomie is coming.

the break aparts

I believe something is wrong with me. My boyfriend (now Ex) and I broke up a little over a week ago. I was expecting at least a week or two of feeling sorry for myself...you know the usual girl stuff. Crying while watching 'chick flicks'. Crying while listening to sad music. Crying while stalking him on the facebook. Well--just being crazy sad. I mean we dated for almost 11 months (my longest ever BTW), and we were friends for 4 years before that.

WHY haven't I been sad? I feel like a bitch, or something because I actually feel relieved. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, as a bestfriend...but there were just some thing missing. ...passion for one? Sounds stupid right? No, I didn't feel that spark...

Regardless of the reason, all of these things show me that we weren't really meant to be. I love him and always will, but the obvious always shines through eventually.

stale beer breath kisses are my fave.

ok, no. that’s for sure not my favorite, but there was a guy last weekend in Auburn. He definitely thought that in-my-face talking and sloppy smooches on the hand were going to get him somewhere. He was oh so confused.

I’m sure the le femmes know exactly what I’m talking about. I was in Auburn for a friend’s engagement party, and we decided to hit up the bars afterwards. I was only there for maybe 5 min before the random boy severely invaded my personal space with his stale breath, “Hya, I’maChrssss (drunken lingo for Hey, I’m Chris for those who don’t have your experience translator).” He did this not only once, not twice, but three times. Apparently, I was cute enough to talk to, but not enough to remember.