How on Earth can I be anymore obvious?

I start this as a plea. I plea for you to PLEASE stop calling BTR.

As our friend Lily Allen says, "How on Earth can I be anymore obvious. It never really happened, now it's never gonna happen with the two of us. I don't understand what it is that your chasing after, but it makes me sad to hear you sound so desperate. I just makes it harder."

Maybe you should just listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_5QWameMBA

Anyways, so BTR gives her digits to the bar back. I get it I guess, it's your most frequented bar these days and you're really not a bitch, so I can understand the need to not make the situation awkward. Little did you know, we were going to have a lil stalker on our hands!

Mr. Bar Back called, and called again. And again. And again. AND AGAIN.

Please read one of the most awkward and desperate (and omg why don't you know what it means when people screen your calls) voicemails I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

"Hey BTR* this is Bar Back*, ummm I wanted to give you a call to apologize for last night. Wewe got a little busy but I could of broken away and chit-chatted with you guys a little bit, but the truth be told I got kinda nervous, You looked really pretty last night and I got little butterflies in my stomach and ummm by the time I got up the courage ya'll were walking out the door. ummm but anyway I apologize and im not normally this much of a putz and dont want you to think anything. ummm so I will see you tonight and ummm I will talk to you tonight but umm (insert creeepy ass laugh) but just wanted to call and apologize and umm im sorry i was a lame ass and have a good day. Have a good day hope to see you tonight if not I look forward to seeing you next time. Talk to you later."

And yes, it was 7 min long.

So here's my question, why does he keep calling? He left this message on Saturday, and since then has called 2 more times. Get the hint dude. She doesn't asnwer because she's "just not that into you." Someone please send him the book.

At this point, we're all volunteering to tell him ourselves. What would you say? I think I'd say exactly this, "Dear Bar Back Boy, I believe that you've somehow mistaken my friend's intentions. Now, you may think she ignores EVERYONE's call because she's so incredibly busy, and that it's not just you. But honey, that's not the case. She has the swine flu."

sorry friends

I think I've waited too long to write about New Orleans, and now I'm a little bitter about it. This really isn't for anyone else since I'm not giving a whole lot of info, but it'll always be funny to us.

SOOOO let's talk about the obvious and use things from NOLA as examples. I drink too much. The fact that y'all had to brush my hair for me in the bar is enough. Except that's not all...it began New Years Eve with me saying, "here's the key Roomie. I'll see y'all later," and ended with, "um PA...i think you need to go home. You're not allowed anymore alcohol."

Damn orange octane drink.

2nd--Falcon always wants to be connected to bars and dance... All weekend she made out with a certain bar owner, and spent a little time the first night on a stripper pole. NO worries about the Hippy DJ STRIPPER who was on it before...or that you took "lessons" from her.

3rd--Roomie, you're pretty boring...i wish you had more stories. He's not that big of a deal.

4th--BTR (Big Truck Lover, is your new nickname. You know who you are.) is probably going to be the loudest person at a bar, and if you get her to take you home (because she prob won't go to your house) you won't get any lovin'. Also, If you've missed something she said the first time, you'll prob hear it again. Examples all from the same night, "I ATE ALLIGATOR...THE ALLIGATOR I ATE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN...THEN I ATE SOMEONES PO-BOY WHO WAS SLEEPING AT THE TABLE." Then, repeat, repeat, repeat. The boy has yet to get any...

BTR--Don't be mad...you know i love you. when i think about this night i think about that huge ass smile you had on your face. :)

5th--ONLY YOU, Vespa, could go on an actual date with someone you met on NYE in NOLA. Sidenote: IF you're making out in a dark corner, make sure you know where your purse is. It's likely that someone will pick it up, and you'll never know it gave you the slip. Example, Billy the native, and only spending one night in the room she paid for. Oh and we probably should have apologized to those pedestrians you almost threw up on while walking thru the French Quarter.

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: "Where's Vespa?"

yes you have to come home...eventually.

I can remember random things about our first semester in college--my first being the night of the DKE swap...the events of that night will forever make me laugh. Who would have thought that night would have set into motion the unwavering friendship that we now have. I wish for times when I can walk in your room, sit on your bed, and laugh or cry with you about whatever might be happening in our lives. I want to be able to sit in the living room, listen to music and paint, while we contemplate why in the hell people are the way they are.

Also, I'm now wondering if the ghost kitty still lives in Apt #32.

I'm writing to say thanks. I know its a little late, but in this post is a response to the letter you wrote before you went to the far away place. Thanks for being my rock, and having steadfast love for me...no matter what ever have done (and probably will do). You were forgiving when I was being dumb and hardheaded. You were love when I had none.

You are what you strive to be, a reflection of something great.

Our feature debut.

At this point in your life, don't you know better than to speak to media?? Below is snip-it of our outting to Hilton Head Island a couple weeks back. I mean could he have made us sound

anymore like alcoholic college girls? Clearly from the pic we aren't getting wild and crazy!

"Six University of Alabama coeds spent a recent afternoon sunning themselves on Coligny Beach, sipping a few Coors Lights hidden in coozies.

They didn't worry about the fact that it's illegal to have alcohol on the beach. If they got busted, they'd just plead ignorance, they said."